Thursday, July 28, 2005
So here we are, the fifth week of term. Time has REALLY passed us by and before we know it, it's gonna be the end of the year again. It's the same old rut though, but I'm getting by okay, I guess. My birthday went by last week with a nice cozy lunch at BaliThai with dearie...it's all I wanted. So I have turned 31...the big three one. Am I scared yet? Hell yeah...I'm scared shitless of so many things. Half a life ago, I was a teenager and yet I can remember everything that happened. Will I be ready for everything the future will throw at me? I damn hope so. I want to be ready.
Had a really unnerving dream the other day...I dreamt I was with a group of people celebrating. Celebrating what, I didn't know at first. Then I discovered that we were celebrating the day we are about to die.
I know. Creepy. The funny thing was, we weren't scared or frantic...we were happy. It was as if Death is a journey. Literally. We all had packed our luggage and stuff to be buried with us. So when the time finally came, we said our goodbyes like as if we were saying goodnight...except that we have no idea when we were gonna wake up. And as I laid my body in my coffin and someone put the lid on, I suddenly came to the realization that I wasn't ready for Death. I knocked on the lid of the coffin in a frenzy, but it was too late...tonnes of earth have covered me. And there I was, all alone waiting for eternity to pass me by in that torturous cramped space.
Woke up feeling really freaked out. Was it a reminder of how lousy a Muslim I am? Was it a message to me that I should be more steadfast in my responsibilities?
Allahualam bissawab